What do I do now that its real for me? Day one and I can't help but wonder what I've done. 24 hours ago this was still a world away problem... Something that I believed to be true but didn't really exist to me - personally.
Now I've gone and looked and in a way that makes me feel terrified and overwhelmed tonight...things have changed.
I spent the day with a health care volunteer today in what seems like a sprawling city slum. Picture something like stand off...the size of brooks.
Three patients...three people...three probable AIDS cases but no hope because each one of them refused to be tested.
The first woman was fairly healthy... But at 40 something she had shingles and wasn't getting better.
The second man was thin, sweating and trembling...he was being treated for TB but wasn't getting better. Again and although AR drugs are available and could still save his life ... He refused to consider HIV as his possible ailment.
But it was house #3 where I finally really looked into the eyes of this horror story.
In a house the size of a bathroom with only a matress and a few stools we walked into fine a tiny remnant of a man laying in the dark. His eyes were wide and the white was so bright. He smiled at me and said hello, how are you in english. Then in his language he spoke with the health worker.
I couldn't understand what was being said but it was clear. I was looking at a man, dying of AIDS alone in Africa. He was looking right at me. He was born into a nightmare... I was born into a winning lotto ticket but for 1/2 an hour we sat in the same room.
He couldn't admit that he was HIV positive until it was too late. I was asked to pray for him at the end of the visit. Not really knowing what to do I stammered something out.
I keep repeating that prayer now in my head... Alone with AIDS in Africa. Its actually real...no closing my eyes to it now
